Expats and Mindfulness
A welcome strategy to happiness
Independent of whether you have just moved to a new country or have lived abroad for long time, if you are struggling to ‘fit in’ with a different culture, weather patterns, lifestyle and so on, watch out for the risk of developing the habit of “experiential avoidance”.
Experiential avoidance is a system triggered in the brain when we react to our own unhappiness as if it were a threat. The mind ‘shuts down’. Behaviors that would facilitate a connection to other people are suppressed, such as curiosity, engagement, and goodwill. But the mind is also led to ignore its own productions – your own thoughts, emotions, feelings and even body sensations. We become numb, unable to feel our own inner experiences, positive or negative. We disconnect and lose touch with the full experience of being alive.
If we are sad, anxious or creating mental narratives how difficult life has been… we even don’t notice what’s happening. And the more we tune out feelings, body sensations and thoughts that are understood as ‘unpleasant’ by the brain, the more this unhealthy strategy can become a habit. However, despite of the mind’s effort to ignore all the signals that there is something that isn’t working well, the unpleasant emotions are still with us, which are invariably accompanied by sensations and feelings in the body. If we persist on not taking notice on them, they will become stronger and deepen our suffering.
The risk of developing “experiential avoidance” is pronounced for expats after the first busy months of establishing a new home abroad. Without a social network in place, the risk of isolation increases and the expat might find him/herself in a downward spiral.
On the other hand, if the expats develop the practice to learn to observe and be present with all that’s is already there – the sadness, the frustration – and tune their attention right into the areas of intense discomfort – tightness in the lower back, headaches – without becoming overwhelmed, they are able to turn off the ‘avoidance mode’ of the mind. And to trigger ‘approach qualities’ like curiosity, compassion and friendliness that are associated with ‘welcoming’.
This particular form of practice is known as mindfulness. Expats that cultivate mindfulness develop an inner resource to build a path out of the emotional disturbance produced by the ‘experiential avoidance’. And into an awareness state that increase their mental flexibility so that new options open up to them. They cultivate the skill to choose how to act instead of reacting based on old habits of mental patterns.
Expats and the practice of mindfulness: a ‘welcoming strategy’ to happiness.
(*) Psychologist, expertise in expats and adjustment disorder. Mindfulness-Oriented Psychotherapy practice. “I help expats who are struggling to adapt and develop themselves in a foreign country to have a rich and accomplished life so that they can reach their full potential while abroad”. gunnengpsy@gmail.com